Recent developments exposing the closely knit collusion between those in proximity
to daily activities with so-called not-so-intelligence surveillance networks impact the
ability for me to live a life of privacy and independence. Intense curiosity by those
who presume that they are in control of action mechanisms with wire terror and fraud
are now confronting their own vulnerabilities. My experience is a symptom of a larger
problem of societal denial and government ineptitude.
It is likely that questions about my own regenerative and healing process are being
asked. With sustained trauma and violence, including psychological violence, my frame
of reference is absolutely based on an engrained sense of living in country where law
and reason with guaranteed rights. In this context, being female of Japanese American
descent determines that my process of healing is directly linked to assuming personal,
institutional and financial power. Exacting a process of justice has been, and still is the
only priority I hold as necessary for this healing.
Political blood lust and thirst fuel my perspective when dealing with larger system
failures and corruption. Some quickly define my healing process through their own
limited generational viewpoint of a female experience being violated by male-based
institutional practices and unspoken mores. They consider that my healing must entail
finding "true romantic" affiliation as in a Western-type B-movie happy ending. They
diminish my role as a being fully equipped to participate in systems of power without
the exaggerated male hero figure who is often frustrated with his own disempowerment.
While contempt for female experience in Hawaii is found on all institutional levels,
on a social level, I have not had problems with men except for those with a deep
addictive process. Most men recognize when a female will not tolerate abuse and
violence.
Class-based contempt is different from gender-based contempt. The issue of class
is one of the most clandestine forms of subjugation as exemplified in my situation
with those of the white-collar professional groups, such as attorneys, physicians
and academics. They, of course, presume their knowledge is with a greater under-
standing of any political and personal situation.
Any expressed anger in my case is justified and expected on my part. My outrage
is part of the emotional fuel that allows me to appropriately channel my anger toward
those who are directly responsible for abuses and deprivation. Misuse of power and
anger is found frequently with those who believe they are above the law. They are
wrong in my case and they are identifiable.
Curiosity about the loves and losses of my life is probably the source of extrapolated
legend-making idiots who want to define my experience in terms of a movie script
when, in fact, the stakes are so terribly high that any attempt to diminish this experience
to some type of commercially viable profit-making project while justice has not been
served is likely to come crashing down in real life. Take that as a promise.
